We Asked a Bunch of Girls About Peeing, Quite Possibly the Greatest Feat You Can Accomplish at Roskilde Festival

'Cause finding an unoccupied and/or somewhat shitstain-free toilet is a goddamn crusade by Day 3.

Ah, peeing. Such a simple thing, you’d think—but sometimes, evil lies in simplicity. Especially at festivals. After all, we’ve all been there: full of agony and despair, waiting in line at the Roskilde Festival toilets, praying our delicate bladders won’t burst/the UTI holds off until the end of the festival, pondering the social acceptableness of squatting down right then and there. The last resort? The fences, of course. We decided to talk to some of the courageous female souls who have braved the soiled soil of Roskilde Festival to get their take on the pee situation. Meet the princesses of the Roskilde fences.

Maja, 27, 7th Roskilde Festival

Hi Maja! I know you had an interesting encounter with people while squatting to relieve yourself yesterday during a concert. Can you please elaborate?

So yeah, yesterday two friends and I were peeing by Arena Stage by a tree in the middle of everything, and two girls were holding a blanket while I was peeing. Two guys came up to us and said, “You’re holding the blanket up too high, it doesn’t help cause we can still see your punani underneath,” and we were like, “Yeah, but if we hold it too low we’re just gonna pee on the blanket!” It was better to cover our faces and be anonymous: I don’t care if they see “that”, but they just can’t see my face. But yeah, multiple guys came over to comment.

But if you have to do your business, you have to do it!

… and why not just use the toilet?

The lines are way too long!

Have you ever been catcalled while peeing at a fence?

My friend almost got her wristband cut off at Orange Stage because she was peeing right next to the toilets. So they brought her backstage and they cut it off, but she pointed out all the guys peeing too, and why the fuck was she singled out and punished when everybody is peeing everywhere? She made such a scene that she got her wristband back!

Oh wow, when was this?

Last year.

So equality at the Festival, not so much maybe when it comes to pee?

Yeah. I don’t know if they should make more toilets or places where you can pee outside, or maybe the pee fences for girls? They’ve had them some places.

So, girls-only pee fences? I like that idea!

Xenia, 20, 5th Roskilde Festival

So, Xenia, tell me, have you ever peed by a fence at the Festival?

Yeah, I have. Many times!

And have you ever experienced guys calling out at you or bothering you in any way?

No; actually, I had a weird experience with some other girls at another festival. There were a lot of guys peeing at the fence and my friend and I sat down to pee and some girls just looked at us and went, “Oh my God, really!?”, while ten other guys were standing there peeing as well.

So you felt they were judging you, but not the guys?

Yeah.

And how did that make you feel?

Really uncomfortable! You’re very vulnerable when you’re sitting down and peeing, it’s just people looking down at you being like, “no”.

So, why not just use a toilet?

Mainly because of the long lines or if I’m too far away from a toilet. And sometimes I pee by the fence just for fun!

Do you have any brilliant advice for other potential fence peers?

You should always go with someone because it’s nice to have someone standing in front of you!

Louise, 24, 4th or 5th Roskilde Festival

So sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering: have ever peed at a fence here at the Festival?

Yeah… I tend to do that, mostly.

Mostly? You prefer the fence to the toilets?

Yeah, I do, because sometimes the toilets are just too full, like really disgusting. Packed with shit.

But we’ve been checking out the fence areas and they look pretty nasty and soiled as well, but that doesn’t bother you as much as the packed toilets?

No, not really. Usually I wear boots like these rubber boots or Dr. Martens so you can just step in the pee, no problem.

So you think wearing the appropriate fence peeing shoes is essential?

Yes, don’t wear sneakers! You’ll get them really wet.

Do you have a favorite fence or a favorite area of fences?

Just the ones with bars so you can hold onto them in case you’re too drunk and might slip and fall.

Have you ever lost or dropped something into the pee?

Sunglasses. And my first year at Roskilde I actually fell into the pee, so I guess you can say I lost myself in the pee.

And that hasn’t deterred you? You keep peeing strong?

When I need to pee, I really need to pee and I just sit down and pee!

Have you ever experienced something uncomfortable, like people yelling at you or saying something to you while you’re squatting at the fence?

I had one experience last year when Peaches was playing at a concert and a guy was trying to take pictures of me while I was peeing. He was, like, sneaking up to girls and every time people got him to leave, he would just come back.

Did you do or say anything?

Yeah, I asked him to leave, and every time he came back I would confront him until he finally left!

Awesome, good for you! Do you have any sage advice for other hopeful fence peers?

Just be aware of other people taking pictures of you, don’t be too drunk and maybe go in groups of two or four people, just in case. If for no other reason than to help you up in case you fall!

Andrea, 23, 8th Roskilde Festival

Astrid, 19, 5th Festival

Hey girls! Have you by any chance both tried to pee at the fences here at Roskilde?

Both: Yeah.

Have you ever experienced anything uncomfortable in that situation?

Astrid: No, never.

Andrea: Yeah, I have. Like, just weird comments. Either like, “Looking good”, or something else really disgusting.

So you’ve been catcalled while peeing?!

Andrea: Yeah, but also people saying it was disgusting and, “Girls shouldn’t do that”.

They actually said, “Girls shouldn’t do that”?

Andrea: Yeah.

Have you ever responded to any of them?

Andrea: I don’t know, maybe? I don’t really remember, I just remember the bad experience.

But in spite of this, you still pee by the fences?

Andrea: I try to avoid it, but I mean, if I’m at a concert and I’m drunk and I really have to pee, I do it. But I would be more likely to do it if it’s dark, so people don’t see as much.

Any helpful advice to other fellow fence peers? Any particularly good fence or spot?

Astrid: One piece of good advice would be to always bring somebody with you when you go to pee.

So you guys never go alone to pee?

Andrea: Sometimes, but not to the fences, and sometimes it’s nice to have a friend help with holding a jacket to cover you or something. It makes it more comfortable. And also just the fact that if you’re standing there alone and someone says something, it’s less embarrassing if someone else is there with you for support.

Do you think it would help if the festival put up more toilets? Any advice for the festival on this issue?

I think Roskilde could do more for the girls in terms of places to pee privately. The guys have so many options. Especially at the concerts!

Emma, 20, 4th Roskilde Festival

Anna, 21, 5th Roskilde Festival

Sooo, I take it you both have tried to pee by the fences here at the Roskilde Festival?

Both: Yeah, we have.

Has anyone ever yelled at you or said anything mean?

Emma: No, I think we’ve been pretty lucky in that regard, but we also mostly pee in groups, which I think might have helped.

Are there any particularly good fences that you can share some insight about with us and others?

Emma: I would say avoid this area close to the street and go to a more quiet place.

Anna: Maybe in G? Yeah the bottom of G where it’s quiet.

Is that like your spot?

Both: Yeah, we’ve both been there!

Any other sharable advice?

Emma: Always remember hand sanitizer and paper towels or napkins!

Emilie, 19, 4th Roskilde Festival, 1st time volunteering

So, Emilie, being an authoritative Festival volunteer, can you share whether you’ve ever peed by the fences?

Yeah, some years ago when I was just a regular festival guest.

But would you as a volunteer this year consider peeing by the fence?

Not if I’m in the vest! But I also don’t want to pee at the fences cause I think it’s so disgusting, also with all the eyes on you and guys looking and taking pictures. I prefer just to stand in line for the toilet!

Have you ever had an uncomfortable encounter while peeing by the fence?

No, I don’t think so. If I’ve peed at the fence I’ve been very drunk, so I don’t really remember. But I think eye contact while peeing is uncomfortable enough! Because then you know that people are looking.

So, when you see girls peeing at fences, what do you think? Do you think anything about that?

No, if they’re fine I think it’s okay. If it were me, I think it’s okay if girls look at me. But not men; then it’s uncomfortable.

IN CONCLUSION:

What can we say? There’s something wrong with the world when guys won’t make passes at girls who wear glasses, but will at girls who pee at fences. It seems as though we have involuntarily solved the mystery of why girls always pee in pairs or groups: to avoid pervs and falling into one’s own pee!

Happy peeing, y’all.